What You Don't See in Successful Women

A few weeks ago, I attended a local Women of Impact Roundtable...the first of several sessions that will be held this year. It was a thoughtful, generous, and quietly powerful room full of capable women.

As I listened to the stories shared, one thing stood out to me:

You never really know what challenges someone has lived through.

Looking around the room, it would have been easy to assume that everyone there had a smooth path. You saw women who were accomplished, confident, and successful. From the outside, their lives looked steady, put together, and maybe even ideal.

But as they spoke, a different picture emerged.  Women had navigated loss.  Women had questioned themselves.  Women had faced setbacks or private struggles.  At the same time, they built impressive careers and meaningful lives.

It was a quiet reminder that success doesn’t protect anyone from hardship or eliminate insecurity.

The Story We Invent About Other People

It’s easy to compare our insides to someone else’s outside.

We look at a successful woman and assume:

• She’s more confident than I am.
• She doesn’t struggle the way I do.
• Things must have come easier for her.

Most of the time, that story isn’t true.

We see the outcome, not the years of doubt, recalibration, disappointment, growth, or persistence behind it.  And sometimes even the outcome doesn’t tell the full story.

Strength and Insecurity Can Coexist

One theme of the conversation that stood out to me was realizing how often strength and insecurity exist at the same time.

You can be capable and still unsure.

You can lead and still question yourself.

You can build something meaningful and still carry the weight of hard experiences.

None of those cancel each other out.  For many women, that’s the part no one talks about.  We don’t want to show weakness.

What I Left With

I left inspired. 

I left with perspective and a reminder not to assume that I know someone else’s story.  I realize that someone else’s success doesn’t means their life has been easy. 

It was also a good reminder to be less critical of myself for the parts of my own journey that haven’t felt as successful.

If even the women we admire most have navigated insecurity, setbacks, and challenges we can’t see, then maybe self-doubt isn’t a sign of failure.  Maybe it’s just part of being human.

And maybe we don’t need to be quite so hard on ourselves when our lives don’t look perfect from the outside.

Maybe trusting yourself a little more begins with remembering that everyone’s story is more complex than it appears…including your own.