The Trap of Perfectionism
“If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t do it at all.” Sound familiar?
Perfectionism often feels like it’s helping us. It looks like high standards, discipline, and motivation. But in reality, it can quietly hold us back from even starting, and it can keep us stuck when things don’t go exactly as planned.
Have you ever come up with the perfect exercise routine or diet only to quit it after the first few days? Or maybe you’ve never even started because you weren’t sure what the “perfect” routine or plan was. You didn’t want to look foolish or do something wrong. We want to be perfect in what we do, but the problem is that the need for perfection can actually freeze us in place.
For years, if I did something I wasn’t happy with, I would berate myself over it for days. Now, I’m able to look at what I do more objectively, learn from the things I wish I had done differently and figure out how I would approach it next time.
What Perfectionism Really Is
Perfectionism isn’t just “wanting to do things well.” It’s often a fear of failure, judgment, or not being enough. Underneath it is usually a limiting belief, one that says, “If I make a mistake, it means I’m a failure.”
In health and wellness, this can look like:
- Avoiding workouts unless you have a full hour available
- Abandoning healthy eating after one “off” meal
- Putting off starting until you have the “perfect” plan
The Cost of Perfectionism
When perfectionism takes over, we:
- Miss opportunities to grow and improve
- Experience more stress and burnout
- Fall into all-or-nothing cycles — start strong, stop completely, repeat
The truth is, progress isn’t built on flawless action. It’s built on consistent, imperfect action.
Reframing ‘Failure’ as Experimentation
What if you stopped seeing mistakes as proof you’re not good enough, and started seeing them as data?
This is the experiment mindset...try, observe, adjust.
- “I didn’t fail my meal plan; I learned that I need more convenient lunch options.”
- “Missing two workouts taught me I need a different exercise routine.”
When you approach your health this way, failures stop being roadblocks. They become stepping-stones to better strategies, more self-awareness, and lasting change.
3 Practical Steps to Loosen Perfectionism’s Grip
- Spot the Perfectionist Thought
Ask yourself: “Am I aiming for progress or perfection?” - Shrink the Step
Make it so small that you can start today, even if it’s just a 5-minute walk or adding one serving of vegetables to dinner. - Run the Experiment
Treat every attempt as a chance to learn, not a pass/fail test.
HER Connection
- Habits: Small, consistent steps make lasting change possible without the pressure of perfection.
- Energy: Perfectionism drains your mental energy; experimentation frees it up.
- Resilience: The ability to adapt and keep going, even when things aren’t perfect, is what keeps you moving forward long-term.
Break Free from Perfectionism And Move Forward with Confidence
If perfectionism has kept you from starting or sticking with healthy changes, you don’t have to do it alone. Let’s work together to create a flexible plan that fits your life...and actually lasts.
