Why do we talk to ourselves, about ourselves, in a way that we would never talk about a friend? If we did, we wouldn’t have friends for long.
It was only about five years ago, after listening to Brené Brown’s audiobook, The Power of Vulnerability, that I realized I was doing exactly that. For years, I would beat myself up over something I said or did, sometimes replaying it in my mind for days. The phrase, “I’m so…” was on a constant loop in my head. You can fill in the blank: fat, dumb, inadequate, not good enough.
Once I became aware of this negative self-talk, I started to pay attention to how often I was doing it. Slowly, I began to catch myself in the moment. It wasn’t easy, and it certainly didn’t change overnight. But with intention and practice, I learned to pause, recognize the story I was telling myself, and choose a more compassionate narrative.
I’m not perfect. I still catch myself falling into old patterns, especially when I’m tired, stressed, or overwhelmed. But now, I recognize those moments faster. I’m usually able to shift my mindset before it spirals too far. And that small shift makes a huge difference.
Brené Brown calls these “the stories we tell ourselves.” They’re often rooted in fear and shame and can quietly dictate how we feel about ourselves and how we show up in the world. These stories are limiting beliefs — the inner narratives that tell us we’re not enough, that we’re unworthy, or that we have to be perfect to be loved.
The truth is, we all have limiting beliefs. They show up as automatic thoughts, shaped by past experiences, societal expectations, and even well-meaning feedback we’ve internalized. But the good news is once we’re aware of them, we can change them.
When it comes to your health and wellness, acknowledging your limiting beliefs is essential. If you have a limiting belief that you'll always be overweight, that you’ll never be someone who exercises consistently, or that you’re just “bad” at sticking to healthy habits, these beliefs will quietly sabotage your efforts.
The first step to meaningful, lasting change is recognizing the stories that are keeping you stuck. Once you see them, you can start to challenge them and create new, empowering beliefs that support your wellness journey.
That’s where self-compassion and curiosity come in. Instead of judging ourselves for having these thoughts, we can get curious. We can pause and ask, “What story am I telling myself right now?” From there, we can examine where it’s coming from and whether it’s actually true.
I created a simple Reflection Guide to help you work through these stories. It walks you through five steps to identify a limiting belief, examine its roots, and replace it with a more compassionate truth.
If you’re ready to challenge the stories that are holding you back, download the Rewrite Your Story: Limiting Belief Reflection Guide below and start shifting your inner dialogue today.
